<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Homeward Bound by Portia77</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24869923">Homeward Bound</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Portia77/pseuds/Portia77'>Portia77</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Breaking up and making up, Bucky vs Darcy is what i live for, Darcy is dealing with things, Darcy talks things through with Sam, Don't worry, Except this takes place like right before the making up part, F/M, Hopeful Ending, I FINALLY WROTE A WINTERSHIELDSHOCK FIC YOU GUYS, M/M, Multi, OT3, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Soulmates, Spoiler alert: they get back together post-credits, Threesome - F/M/M, WinterShieldShock - Freeform, now officially includes the making up part!!!, obviously, that's it that's the fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:42:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24869923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Portia77/pseuds/Portia77</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“There is no one in the world that can make me as happy as they could. But there’s also no one that can piss me off, or make me cry, the way they can, too. You know what I mean?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sam’s smile was wry. “The cynics might call that love.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darcy Lewis &amp; Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>238</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>GUYS I FINALLY WROTE A WINTERSHIELDSHOCK FIC, I've been practically drowning myself in them for the past month. Anyways this is a very humble submission to the fandom. I'm hoping to post another chapter in this 'verse that resolves everything, so any encouragement is super welcome! </p><p>AKA don't be mean in the comments, pls and thanks :) </p><p>PS, this is my first time writing Darcy so she's probably at least a smidge OOC, but hey, practice makes perfect right?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Holy shit.” </p><p>Darcy turned her head, her whole body jolting in panic before her brain could compute whose voice she was hearing. </p><p>“Hi Sam.”</p><p>The Falcon stood in the doorway of the Avenger’s common room, a hand braced against the wall like he thought he’d fall over. </p><p>“Jesus. Friday said you were here but… I guess I thought she was glitching or some shit. It’s really you, though.” He took a few tentative steps into the room. She’d always found the space to be massive, more space than anyone could ask for, but in that moment she could’ve sworn it was tinier than the dorm she’d lived in at Culver. The walls closed in on her and threatened to choke her. </p><p>“Yeah. I, um, I didn’t know where to go,” she admitted, heart pounding. Sam’s face still bore the shock he’d worn when he walked in the room. “Friday told me that <em> they… </em>” She swallowed thickly. “They don’t live here anymore?” </p><p>“They don’t.” Sam walked over to the fridge and pulled out a drink. “You want a beer?”</p><p>“Do I? Yes. Should I? No.” She got up from her spot by the window and meandered to the table nearest Sam, hands shoved in her pockets. “Pretty sure that if I start drinking, I won’t be able to stop. Nerves and all.”</p><p>“Yeah, I get that.” He took a sip from his own drink and sat next to her. “So, Lewis. Where ya been?”</p><p>“Couple places. A lot of places, really. Couldn’t, um, couldn’t stay in one spot for long.” </p><p>“I expect not. So you knew they were looking for you?” </p><p>“Yeah.” She toyed with the ends of her sleeves, tugging at a loose thread. “Tony told me.” </p><p>Sam stared at her as the pair lapsed into a tense, steely silence. And then eventually, right when Darcy thought he was going to start yelling, he stood up and said, “Wanna watch a movie?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Do you want to watch a movie? With me.” Sam jabbed a thumb over his shoulder at the big flatscreen. “Stark’s got all the...everything, basically. But he’s also got some of the new shit that’s not even out of theaters yet. There’s a new action movie I’ve had my eye on.”</p><p>Not for the first time, Darcy marvelled at the way Sam Wilson could look at a person and determine from a glance what they needed. And in that moment, Darcy desperately needed a distraction. And maybe someone to keep her company. </p><p>“Sure… Thanks.”</p><p>“No need to thank me. Just grab the popcorn from the cupboard, will ya?”</p><p>Darcy grabbed snacks and two bowls and made her way over to the spread of couches that could seat at least a dozen people. Sam sat at one end of the sectional, and Darcy took the other, kicking off her sneakers and tucking her feet up onto the seat like she was a little girl again.</p><p>The opening credits hadn’t even finished rolling before Darcy interrupted. </p><p>“Why aren’t you yelling at me?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Sam, who was scrolling on his phone, barely acknowledged her.</p><p>She nudged him with her sock-covered toe. “Thought you’d be yelling your head off the second you set eyes on me.”</p><p>“Do you want me to yell at you?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“Then why would I yell at you?” He reached over for the bowl and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. </p><p>“Uhh,” Darcy tipped her head to the side to shoot him an incredulous stare. “Because I sorta dumped your friends?”</p><p>“Barnes isn’t my friend.”</p><p>“Fine,” she rolled her eyes. “Because I dumped your <em> friend </em> and his boyfriend.”</p><p>Sam gave another shrug. “It’s not really my business, is it?”</p><p>“No, but that doesn’t stop you from using your Jedi mind tricks on me. I know what you’re up to, Wilson.” She pointed a finger at him, jabbing it in the air. “You want me to squeal, admit it.” </p><p>“I don’t want you to squeal. Don’t be dramatic, Lewis.” He scratched at his chin thoughtfully. “I just think maybe you’d like to talk to someone before you see them.” </p><p>“What makes you say that?” </p><p>“How about the fact that you’re still here?” Sam said in an obvious tone. “Or the fact that you haven’t grilled me for their address and stormed off? The fact that you stuck around in the tower <em> at all </em> when you found out they don’t live here anymore? I’m just saying, those aren’t the actions of someone who’s in a rush.”</p><p>“Yeah, well…” Darcy sulked for a moment and then grudgingly asked, “If I talk to you about it, will you promise to keep it between us? Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that good stuff?” </p><p>“Technically I’m not a registered therapist. I am <em> definitely </em> not a doctor,” he said with a laugh. “But sure. Of course I won’t say anything. To <em> either </em>of them.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah…” She folded her arms over her chest and sighed. “I trust you. I don’t even really know where to begin.” Darcy thought back to the events from over a year ago. “What do you know anyways?”</p><p>“Mmm not much.” Sam paused the movie but didn’t quite turn to face her all the way. His body language was so relaxed, it was hard for her to hold on to the tight fear that had been rippling in her veins for the past week and a half, ever since she’d made the decision to return to New York. “Steve told me bits and pieces when I could get him to sit down and discuss it properly. Nothing too personal,” he added for reassurance.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have cared if he did.” She meant it. Darcy told her best friend and former employer Jane Foster practically everything that happened to her, especially the romantic variety. In the months leading up to the disastrous end, Jane had gotten a play by play of virtually every interaction Darcy had with her partners. It seemed fair if Steve did the same with Sam. </p><p>“It’s not the way he is. Don’t kiss and tell, and all that.” </p><p>“Right.” She dragged a hand over her face tiredly. “It’s… Obviously things weren’t good for a while. They were pretty shitty for months, to be honest.” Darcy closed her eyes, reliving some of the worse moments. “There is...<em> no one </em>in the world that can make me as happy as they could. But there’s also no one that can...piss me off, or make me cry, the way they can, too. You know what I mean?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sam’s smile was wry. “The cynics might call that love.” </p><p>Darcy didn’t know <em> what </em>to say to that. “When I think about it, I can’t really pinpoint where it started or anything. It wasn’t like there was one conversation that did it. Just all of the sudden, the only thing the three of us talked about was my safety.”</p><p>“Your safety?”</p><p>“Yeah.” She grimaced at the memories. “If it wasn’t Steve harping on about whatever Hydra goon may want me dead, it was Bucky going on about how they were no good for me, yada yada yada. After one mission -- I don’t know what happened but I guess it went wrong -- it became all they talked about.”</p><p>“I’m guessing you tried telling them you’re a grown adult who can make her own decisions?”</p><p>Darcy glared at him.</p><p>“Right, I figured. Just had to check.” Sam took another sip of his beer, his free arm stretched out over the back of the couch. </p><p>“Nothing I said could convince them. It was like talking to a brick wall. Two giant, thick-headed, <em> dumb, </em>sexy brick walls.”</p><p>“It’s hard when people don’t listen to what you have to say.”</p><p>“It was.” Darcy bit her lip as she reflected. “And that’s why I left.”</p><p>“That’s it?” Sam said it in a way that suggested he was just checking again, but also that he didn’t believe her for a second.</p><p>“That’s… That’s most of it.”</p><p>“What else?” Sam bumped his foot against hers. “Come on, Lewis. Don’t hold out on me now.”</p><p>She raked her fingers through her tangled hair. When she spoke next, the words felt small and fragile and embarrassing on her tongue. “They don’t need me.” </p><p>“No one <em> needs </em> anyone. <em> No </em> one.”</p><p>Darcy rolled her eyes defensively. “They don’t <em> want </em>me. Not the way they want each other.” </p><p>“Don’t they?” Sam squinted at her. “Certainly looked like they wanted you to me, even after you left. Shit, <em> especially </em>after you left.” </p><p>The words made her skin crawl. “If this is one of those situations where they only want what they can’t have, then they can--”</p><p>“No, I misspoke,” he said quickly. “Sorry. I only meant… They’re goddamned good at keeping a lid on their emotions in front of others, even their friends, you know that? I guess it’s fair. They had to hide how they felt about each other for so long back in the day, maybe they just never got used to showing it. But I’m telling you, once you left, it changed. <em> They </em> changed. Steve ran himself ragged scouring the city. Barnes was <em> convinced </em> Hydra got you. Foster must’ve told him a hundred times that you were fine before he believed her.” </p><p>Darcy had to pause to unclench her jaw before she could speak. “Look, I get that they’re your friends and I’m just this horrible, evil person who hurt them, but I had my reasons, okay? You don’t get to <em> judge </em> me for leaving.” </p><p>“Whoa, whoa,” he lifted his palms up in steady placation. “I’m not <em> judging </em> anyone. You have to do what’s right for you in this world. Clearly, you thought leaving was right. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” </p><p>“There’s a <em> but </em>coming.” </p><p>“But,” he said with a conceding nod. “I <em> am </em>wondering why you came back.” </p><p>She didn't talk for a long moment, head bowed, mouth pursed in thought. “Honestly, I...don’t really know myself.” She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her own body tight. “Tony said they were trying to find me. I thought they’d give up by now, to tell the truth. When I realized they hadn’t, I figured, maybe it was better to go to them on <em> my </em> terms rather than wonder when they’d track me down. Plus I was freaking tired of running around.”</p><p>“That’s not the only reason.”</p><p>“No,” she admitted. Her shoulders slumped. “Woke up one day and realized I-I <em> missed </em>them. I mean, that never went away really, but time is supposed to help, you know? It’s supposed to make things easier. And I tried, I did, but it never worked, and all I could think about was them. What were they doing? Were they safe? Were they h-happy?” She sniffled. </p><p>“I swore up, down and sideways I’d rather never know my soulmates than try to have a platonic bond with them, watch them get married and have babies while I was on the outside looking in. But it’s so <em> hard </em> being away from them. I’d rather,” she paused to wipe at her eyes. “I’d rather be their friend than be n-nothing to them. Even now.” </p><p>Neither spoke for a while after that. Sam sipped his drink while Darcy quickly dabbed under her eyes, trying to stop her makeup from smudging. </p><p>“For what it’s worth,” he said quietly, “I don’t think you could ever be nothing to <em> either </em>of them. You know that, don’t you?” </p><p>“Yeah. Doesn’t mean they can give me what I want.”</p><p>“And what does Darcy Lewis want?” </p><p>That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? She folded her arms and heaved a weary sigh. </p><p>“Once, I would’ve told you that I wanted to just...get married and have babies with the men I love.” </p><p>“Yeah?” Sam scratched his chin. “What changed?”</p><p>Darcy didn’t speak for a long time. Her face shuttered with a thousand different emotions, ranging from sadness to frustration to grief to resignation. </p><p>“I just…” She rubbed at her eyes irritably. “I just want them to love me the way they love each other.”</p><p>“And you think they can’t?”</p><p>“I <em> know </em>they can’t.” Darcy folded her arms and sat back. “There’s no competing with them. Haven’t you seen them together? They get all googly eyed. I can’t… They can’t love me the same way, and it was stupid of me to expect them to.” </p><p>“Kinda, yeah.” She jumped at Sam’s words, jaw slack with shock. </p><p>“Uh, ex-fucking-scuse me?”</p><p>“Darcy. <em> No one </em> loves two people the same way. Think about the reasons you love Steve. Are they the same reasons you love Barnes?” </p><p>She ignored the use of present tense. “Of course not.”</p><p>“Right. But I’m willing to bet good money you’d tell me you <em> love </em>both of them.” </p><p>“...”</p><p>“Darcy.”</p><p>“Yeah.” She pressed her lips shut tight as she tried to rein in the tears. “I do.”</p><p>“So what makes you think it’s different with you?” At Darcy’s raised eyebrow, he elaborated. “You said you want them to love you the same way, but no one loves two people the exact same way. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you, Darcy.”</p><p>“Yeah, but they have history and…” She swallowed. “I-I don’t.” </p><p>“Ah.” Sam nodded in understanding. Darcy had the feeling he’d known all along what she was really hinting at. “You’re not worried about how they love you, but how <em> much</em>.”</p><p>“I didn’t really think it’d bother me, but it’s like… Their story is the kind of thing people make movies out of. There’s an entire fucking <em> exhibit </em> about them in Washington. It was hard at the best of times not letting it get to me, but then they started going on and on about how <em> dangerous </em> dating them was, and they kept pushing me away and then pulling me in over and over, and it was like… It was me versus them <em> all the time.” </em>She got to her feet and began to pace. Her cheeks took on color, a flushed tinge that grew increasingly reddish as her voice began to escalate into a full blown rant. </p><p>“They never talked about breaking up with each other, you know? It was only <em> me. </em> Always just me. And I just… I just wanted to <em> love them, </em> and there were already so many things going against us. Like, forget the whole triad thing! That’s small potatoes here! You’ve got Buck’s brainwashing to contend with for one, and Steve wants to throw himself out of a fucking plane every chance he gets, and Hydra is literally living up to its shitty namesake and won’t ever die. It was like… I was fighting for us on every front, and the <em> one thing </em>I had was them. And it would’ve been okay! Except then…”</p><p>“Then they started to push you away.” </p><p>“Yeah.” Darcy turned away and buried her face in her hands, shoulders trembling. “I couldn’t--I couldn’t fight the world and fight them too. One of the--the last things I told them was that I w-wasn’t gonna fucking <em> beg </em> them to date me.” She let out a sob that couldn’t be held back, still facing away from Sam. “That’s what it felt like at times, you know? Like I was begging them… <em> Fuck</em>.” She broke off into tears, noisy and messy cries that drew Sam to his feet.</p><p>“Hey,” he murmured, wrapping her up in a hug. “Hey, hey, hey… It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” </p><p>Sam let Darcy cry into his arms for what could’ve very well been hours, it was hard for her to tell. By the time she was done, her head was throbbing and she knew in her heart her eyeliner had run. </p><p>“Stupid idea wearing makeup today,” she muttered to herself, making Sam smile a little. </p><p>As Darcy dragged the edge of her thumb under either eye in a careful, practiced motion, Sam drew her back to the couch, this time sitting close next to her.</p><p>“You know, if it means anything, I do think they fucked up. They know they did, too.” Sam rested a comforting hand on her back. “I think maybe you <em> all </em>fucked up a little, though. The three of you… You were all trying to make the best of some really tough shit that’d been flung at you. And that’s all anyone can do.” He patted her shoulder gently. “Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Sure.” </p><p>“Did you ever tell them about your fears? About feeling like you can’t compete with them.”</p><p>“No,” she laughed weakly, shaking her head. “No, definitely not.”</p><p>“How come?” </p><p>The breath she sucked in rattled in her chest. “Because… Because what if I didn’t like what they had to say?”</p><p>“Okay,” Sam said slowly. “Well, what’s the worst thing they could’ve said?”</p><p>“That they don’t love me nearly as much as they love each other. That I could never compare. That they don’t need me, and I’m just this...vestigial limb that isn’t useful.” </p><p>“<em>Vestigial</em>. Wow. And is that something you can picture either of them saying to you?” He nudged her shoulder. “No, I’m serious. Think about Steve and Barnes right now. Can you picture them saying word-for-word what you just told me? Be honest.”</p><p>Darcy sat and thought. And she thought some more. Gradually, with time, the hammering of her heart beat began to relax. </p><p>“No,” she whispered, the confession like a bullet in the night. “I can’t.” </p><p>“Right. Why do you think that is?” </p><p>“Because it’d hurt me.” Darcy sniffled. “And they generally try to avoid doing that.” </p><p>“Generally,” Sam agreed with a smile. “Hey, I know guys can be kinda dumb sometimes, but you gotta give us a <em> little </em>credit here.” </p><p>His teasing made her laugh wetly. “You ask too much, Wilson.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m pushing my luck,” he conceded, eyes twinkling. “You think the reason you can’t picture them saying that might be because there’s a good chance it’s not true?”</p><p>Her heart lurched in hope, in fear. “I-I dunno…”</p><p>“Because I’ll tell you now, I’ve seen Steve and Barnes with and without you. Love’s love. Whatever <em> love </em> is, they feel it for you.”</p><p>Darcy stared down at her clenched hands, twisting the cheap silver band on her pinky restlessly. The doubt and panic was starting to crawl back up her throat, seeping into her veins like blood in water. Beside her, Sam checked his phone for the time and pocketed it again.</p><p>“This was a mistake.” She stood up abruptly. Sam got up as well, looking as unbothered as ever. He even had his hands in his pockets, shoulders soft and relaxed. “I-I’m not ready for this. Jesus. I’m nowhere near ready…” She looked up at her friend’s patient face, met his eyes with shame. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Hey, it’s okay. Maybe it is a mistake.”</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Maybe it <em> is </em> a mistake,” Sam repeated in a blasé manner. “Who knows? I don’t know. You don’t know. Maybe you’ll regret ever coming back to this city.”</p><p>“Uh…” Darcy furrowed her brows. “Not helping, Wilson.”</p><p>“But <em> maybe,” </em>he pressed on forcefully, “it’s not.” </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Maybe it’s <em> not </em> a mistake. Maybe coming back is the best decision you ever made. Like I said: who knows? Making choices with a blindfold on is basically all that life is.” </p><p>“Do you own an inspirational quote-of-the-day calendar or something?” Darcy demanded, hands on her hips. “Where the actual fuck do you get all this?” </p><p>“Oh please. I’ve cracked way harder nuts than you.” </p><p>“That’s what she said.”</p><p>He just smiled, an odd glint in his eye as he glanced at the doorway casually. “Hey,” he clapped a hand on her shoulder cheerfully. “Either way, it doesn’t matter now.” </p><p>“It doesn’t?” Darcy frowned at him. “What makes you say that?”</p><p>“Oh, because I texted Steve the second I heard you were in the building. They’re in the lobby right now, headed upstairs.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Steve and Bucky and Darcy reunite.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Holy shit, there's another chapter? What the fuck, when did I agree to this?? YOU GUYSSSS! ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Text Message from: Sam </p><p>Message: <em> you aren’t gonna believe who’s at the tower with me  </em></p><p> </p><p>Text Message to: Sam </p><p>Message: <em> Are you saying what I think you’re saying?  </em></p><p> </p><p>Text Message from: Sam </p><p>Message: <em> Better hurry, your girl’s a flight risk  </em></p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>The drive from Steve and Bucky’s apartment in Brooklyn to the tower in Midtown felt like an eternity. Bucky navigated their car through the streets with a mute, glazed look in his eye, shaking his head and rebuking Steve’s every attempt to get him to speak. </p><p>Steve wanted to be mad at his soulmate’s refusal to talk, but part of him was relieved as well. Even he didn’t know what to say. They spent months searching the far corners of the country for their third soulmate, convinced she was never going to return to them, and here she’d come home on her own volition after everything. </p><p>It threatened to knock him breathless just thinking about it. </p><p>Bucky maneuvered the car under the tower and into the parking garage that was specially reserved for Avengers and favored guests like Rhodey and, since moving out, Steve and Bucky. Steve hadn’t really wanted to leave the tower. It had been where all his friends and, subsequently, found family existed. But after Bucky came back, things were strained with himself and Tony. Then Darcy left the tower, and Steve found he didn’t really have much reason not to return to Brooklyn after all. </p><p>The tires squealed when Bucky parked the car, slamming his foot on the brakes so hard, it was a wonder the pedal didn’t smash through the floor of the car. </p><p>“Buck.”</p><p>He ignored Steve, flinging the driver door open, climbing out, and tossing it shut. His walk was purposeful and stiff, arms swinging at his sides. </p><p>“Bucky!” Steve got out and chased after him. He caught up to him by the parking garage elevators, a private set that would take them straight to the floor they wanted to be on. “Wait. Bucky, wait!” </p><p>“What!” he bellowed, rounding on Steve with furious eyes and clenched teeth. </p><p>“We’re here to get her back.” Steve frowned at him. “To try, at the very least. You know that, right?” </p><p>“Of course I know that.” Bucky scowled, lip curled in an unimpressed sneer. </p><p>Steve cocked his head at the man. “Well, I’m <em> sure </em> glad to hear it. It’s just that you’re walking in like you’re gonna blow the head off the first thing that moves, which -- <em> I have to worry </em> -- might give her the wrong idea and make her nervous.” He folded his arms across his chest and stared, a clear indication that no one was going upstairs until they’d talked. </p><p><em> “I </em> might make her nervous? <em> I </em> might make <em> her </em> nervous?” He’d never seen Bucky look so angry before, face flushed with passion as he raged. “She’s fine! She’s up-fucking-stairs with <em> Wilson </em> watching a movie! <em> I </em> thought she was kidnapped by Hydra, but good news! <em> She’s fucking fine!”  </em></p><p>“I know,” Steve said quietly. He did know. He’d seen firsthand the way Bucky shook in disbelief as they read her goodbye note to them together. He’d gone with Bucky to visit a number of restaurants, hotels, and shopping stores, all places that had reported sightings of Darcy, only for her to be nowhere in sight when they arrived. He’d been there to pay the damages bills when Bucky inevitably tore each of those places apart in a blind rage. </p><p>And he’d witnessed Bucky dropping to his knees and pleading, in tears, with a stony-faced Jane Foster to share Darcy’s location with them, because even though she swore she didn’t know the specifics, neither man ever actually believed it. (Let the record show Thor’s girlfriend was a vault they never could crack). </p><p>“Bucky, <em> I know, </em> but we can’t go in there guns blazing. We <em> can’t </em> .” Steve laid a tentative hand on his shoulder. “She came back. <em> For whatever reason, </em> she came back. That’s gotta mean something.” </p><p>Bucky looked at him, breathing heavy, a hopelessness to his expression. “You think she wants to be <em> with </em> us again?” </p><p>Steve’s chest tightened. It was the question he’d been asking himself ever since Sam sent that text. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “But… I gotta hope so. I <em> gotta.”  </em></p><p>“Me too.” Bucky coughed, clearing his throat. He tipped his chin to his chest, staring at their feet. “Me too, Stevie.” </p><p>Steve kept an arm wrapped around his shoulders as he guided them into the elevator. “She still here, Friday?” he asked, tipping his head to the ceiling as a force of habit. </p><p>
  <em> “She is.”  </em>
</p><p>“You know where to take us, then.”</p><p>
  <em> “Of course, Captain.”  </em>
</p><p>They stood shoulder to shoulder in silence. As they neared the common room floor, Bucky said, “Friday, can you keep any guests away from this floor until we’re done?” </p><p>
  <em> “Yes, Sergeant. I will ensure you three have privacy.”  </em>
</p><p>“Thanks, Fri.” </p><p>The doors slid open, leading them into a short hallway with massive doors at the end, ones Steve hoped and prayed would bring him face to face with the woman he’d been missing for so long now. </p><p>The elevator closed softly behind them and whirred away to another floor. Steve’s heart thudded in his chest. Down the hall, he could hear Sam’s voice, could make out muddled words. </p><p>
  <em> “--doesn’t matter now…”  </em>
</p><p>There was a tense pause. And then -- and <em> then </em> -- it was Darcy’s voice. It was <em> unmistakably </em> her voice, and Steve found himself walking faster at the very sound of it. </p><p>
  <em> “What makes you say that?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “...texted Steve…. Right now, headed upstairs.”  </em>
</p><p><em> “You did what?” </em> Her voice was sharp and clear. They were mere feet away, probably only feet apart from one another. <em> “I--You’re joking. Are you fucking with me, Wilson?”  </em></p><p>
  <em> “This has gone on long enough, I think.”  </em>
</p><p>Another pause, and then, <em> “They’re gonna hate me for leaving.”  </em></p><p>
  <em> “Nah. They’re upset, but if you tell’em what you told me? They’ll understand.” </em>
</p><p>Silence. </p><p><em> “Darcy, you </em> <b> <em>have</em> </b> <em> to tell them what you told me. You know that, right? It’s the only way you three can move on together.”  </em></p><p>
  <em> “Yes, fine. Jesus. Just… Holy shit, I need a minute.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No dice, kid. Pretty sure they’re standing outside.” </em>
</p><p>“That’s our cue,” Bucky murmured, and they each pushed one of the doors back to step inside the common room, a place Steve had spent countless afternoons lazing about on the couch, watching Clint and Natasha bicker over the controls, or listening to Tony lament about the demise of Saturday morning cartoons. </p><p>Now it was the room he’d forever recall as the place where he’d lost his breath, coming face to face with one of the two most precious people in the world to him, a face he knew better than the back of his hand.</p><p>Darcy Lewis looked as beautiful as he remembered her, mostly unchanged from when he last laid eyes on her. Even her dark hair was done the same way, brushed and curled to hang loose around her face. She wore dark jeans with black combat boots, ones with neon pink laces, and a button-down blouse with a pattern of miniature kittens playing with yarn was tucked into the belted pants, her outfit completed by an oversized denim jacket Steve and Bucky had given to her for Christmas three years ago. </p><p>But the clothes didn’t matter, and the hair didn’t matter, not even the jean jacket she wore mattered, though the sight of it on her made his heart squeeze tight in his chest. All that Steve saw was the way her eyes widened at the sight of them, glossy and red around the rims like she’d been crying. And he saw the way her lips parted -- her thick, plump lips that he spent days dreaming about after they first met -- opening in a soft oh-shape that revealed just a hint of her gap-tooth smile. </p><p>Beside him, Bucky sucked in a breath, hard and deep, and went still as a statue, rendered as immoble as Steve. They stood there, three point of an equilateral triangle, bound and connected to one another in ways no science could ever explain. </p><p>Sam cleared his throat, and Steve felt only a dull thud of guilt for realizing he hadn’t even noticed the man was in the room with them until that moment. </p><p>But his friend didn’t look bothered in the slightest. If anything, he was more amused than ever before. “Well that’s my cue,” he said pleasantly. He exchanged a significant look with Darcy, clapped Steve on the arm, and pointedly gave Bucky a wide berth on the way out. The door swung shut, and Steve hoped that marked the start of Friday’s promise to keep away any interruptions until they were done.</p><p>With that, Sam’s departure left Steve in the same room as both his soulmates in…in...</p><p>Well, in a very long time, that’s what.</p><p>“Hi,” Darcy whispered, giving her hand a tiny wave. “Uh. Sorry to show up unannounced and all. I dunno if--”</p><p>She was cut off then, her breath caught in her throat as Steve marched over and wrapped her up in the hug to end all hugs, folding her into his chest (like he used to do -- <em> like he fucking used to do all the time, oh god </em>). </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Steve blurted, never relinquishing his hold. “Sorry. I just…needed to hold you. Just for a second. Please.” </p><p>He felt her nod avidly, the motion stifled somewhat by the tight embrace he had her in, and then her arms lifted, and she gripped him by the back of his shirt. </p><p>“I don’t mean to assume anything,” Steve continued in an incoherent babble. “I just--you’re here? You--does that mean, I mean… What does this mean?” </p><p>Darcy let out a hoarse, tremulous laugh, mingled with a sob. “It means I <em> missed </em> you,” she wept, forehead pressed to his chest. “So fucking much.”</p><p>Steve pressed the heel of his hand down her trembling back. He could smell her perfume and the coconut shampoo she used, and the feel of her manicured nails scratched lightly through his clothes where her hands fisted at his back. </p><p>“So did we,” he choked, unable to look at Bucky. He knew his boyfriend would be antsy for a turn holding her just as he was doing -- Steve was likely to hear about it when they were next alone -- but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. He couldn’t, his arms wouldn’t let him release her until a warm hand slid over his shoulder and a low voice murmured his name, a heartfelt plea he’d never, in his life, been able to refuse. </p><p>Darcy shuffled from his arms to Bucky’s, where he gathered her up and held her much the same way Steve had done, all but bending over to crush her into him like he wanted her to slip into his skin and never leave. “Christ Almighty,” Bucky rasped, one hand over her back, the other cradling the base of her skull. </p><p>With her face to his chest, Darcy tried to speak in an anxious stream of words. “I know we need to talk, I know, but I just--”</p><p>“We’ll talk,” Bucky said quickly, reassuringly. “We’ll talk. It’ll be okay, doll. You’re back, you’re -- are you… Are you <em> back- </em>back?” </p><p>“I’d like to be.” Darcy’s voice was small, more unsure than Steve had ever heard in his whole life. “But…”</p><p>But there was still a chasm between them made up of unspoken feelings and hurtful misunderstanding. He nodded his head. “Why don’t we sit down?” Steve suggested, blinking back the wetness in his eyes that had traitorously sprung forth, guiding the three of them to two loveseaters that faced one another. Darcy took one, Bucky and Steve took the other, sitting with a gap between them in a wordless, unspoken agreement to not present themselves like a united front against her, but as two men who loved her entirely, together and separate. </p><p>The seconds ticked by, and the heady rush of first reunions passed. An awkwardness took hold then, as Steve couldn’t help thinking back to the heated shouting match he and Buck had just had. The past two hours were hardly more than a blur. He thought about when he’d gone out for a run, come home, showered. He thought about the mug of coffee he’d let slip to the floor and shatter when he got Sam’s text (Jesus, had he even cleaned up after himself? Steve was pretty sure he’d just left the mess, grabbed Bucky and shoved them out the door). </p><p>It wasn’t that he didn’t feel radiant joy just looking at her again, or that he wasn’t happy to hear she wanted to stay. All he’d longed for all this time was to have her back with them, back in their bed, in their apartment, in their lives. It was <em> all </em>he’d wanted. Steve had figured the rest could wait until Darcy got back. </p><p>But now she was back, and all he could think about was the fact that she’d <em> left. </em> She’d said she loved them both and she <em> left. </em>With only a note to comfort them, of all things.</p><p>No one spoke for two solid minutes. </p><p>For his part, Steve didn’t know <em> what </em>to say. And he couldn’t speak for Bucky, but Darcy seemed to have a hard time looking at either of them, switching back and forth between glancing up at the pair and then back at her hands, a tiny frown wrinkling between her brows as she sat in thought.</p><p>“I didn’t really have a plan for what I was going to say,” she admitted quietly, head bowed. </p><p>Steve and Bucky’s eyes met while she wasn’t looking. Bucky tilted his chin at Steve fractionally, a gesture for him to go first.</p><p>“Well… Why don’t you tell us about your conversation with Sam?” Steve suggested, striving to stay gentle. She grimaced like she’d tasted something sour, chuckling feebly. </p><p>“Oof. Straight for the kill.”</p><p>Steve was ready to take it back, to eat his words and offer to talk about something else, but he bit his tongue -- <em> literally </em> -- to stop himself. It would do no favours to anyone to put this off any longer.</p><p>“We, uh,” she sniffed, indifferent. “We talked. About <em> us.” </em>She waved a hand between herself and the two of them, like it needing explaining. </p><p>Bucky leaned forward, ready to ask something, but Steve cut him off. A thought occurred to him, one that couldn’t wait.</p><p>“I think we should lay some ground rules.” </p><p>“Rules?” Bucky echoed in disbelief.</p><p>“Yes. Rules.” Steve sucked in a deep breath. “Most importantly: no one storms out. If someone says something the others don’t like, we say so. We <em> talk </em>about it. But we don’t leave.” </p><p>Darcy made a face at him. “Fine.” She sat back on the couch, contemplating. “I have a rule, too. We all trust that the other person is telling the truth.” </p><p>“Yes.” Steve nodded. </p><p>“Then we all agree to <em> tell </em>the truth,” Bucky countered with a pointed look at her. She glared right back.</p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>“<em> Great </em>.” </p><p>“Good.” </p><p>“Glad we cleared that up.” </p><p>“Okay!” Steve cut in smoothly, shooting Bucky a look of consternation. <em> This is </em> <b> <em>not </em> </b> <em> what we discussed, </em>he wanted to hiss at him. Instead he nodded to his buxom soulmate. “Darcy, whenever you wanna start.”</p><p>“Um.” She cleared her throat. “First I wanted to say… I’m sorry for how I left. I’ve… I’ve felt really shitty about it, and no matter what was going on, it wasn’t fair to go like that.” Darcy looked up at them both. “I’m sorry.” </p><p>Steve shifted in his seat, his way of stalling. He didn’t know what to say. Did he play it off? Did he say it was no problem? Did he tell her that he’d wept shocked tears the week after she’d disappeared and he realized she wasn’t coming home? </p><p>“Thank you,” he said finally, faltering only once. “It-It was an upsetting way to find out.” </p><p>She winced. Bucky mumbled something about that being an understatement, well and truly bitter now. </p><p>“I’m,” Darcy huffed quietly. “I’m <em> trying </em>, Bucky. To explain why I did what I did. Sam said it’s the only way things’ll get better.” </p><p>“Why couldn’t you have just told us this before?” he demanded, jaw clenched. “Why the theatrics?” </p><p>Darcy’s face took on an offended expression. “It was <em> my </em>choice to go. I went about it wrong, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have the right--”</p><p>“The <em> right?”  </em></p><p>“--to go. Yes, <em> the right </em>, James.” Darcy scowled. Any goodwill built by their joyous reunion had slipped away, receding to give light to the ugly hurt festering between the three of them. “I hated leaving, but I didn’t know what else to do.”</p><p>“You could’ve talked to us,” Steve said quietly, trying not to sound too argumentative or pushy. But <em>god, </em>it hurt. It hurt, thinking about Darcy feeling like the only solution to her problems was to run away from them. It hurt to think that Steve and Bucky had become a <em>problem </em>to her, period. </p><p>“I tried,” she said weakly. “Sorta. But every time we talked, it felt like it ended in fighting and nothing was getting better. I just…” </p><p>“Didn’t know what to do,” he said with a sigh. “Right.” </p><p>“You never said anything about leaving,” Bucky countered. “I’d’a remembered that.” </p><p>“No,” she agreed. “But it felt like I was begging you to let me stay.” </p><p><em> “What?” </em>Steve and Bucky said in horrified unison. </p><p>“That’s part of it all,” Darcy admitted, going on like she hadn’t just upended Steve’s world in a few meager words. “A big part, really. Feeling like I had to beg you to date me.” </p><p>He felt as though he’d been punched in the stomach with a mallet. Steve exhaled in a strained, wounded noise that went unheard over Bucky’s outcry. “You <em> begged </em>us to date you?” </p><p>“That’s what it felt like!” </p><p>“In what world is that true?” </p><p>“Don’t do that,” Darcy snapped, eyes filling with tears as Bucky kept ranting. </p><p>“--it’s like we remember two different versions of what happened--”</p><p>“Don’t <em> belittle </em>my feelings.” </p><p>“Bucky, that’s enough.” Steve didn’t know where to turn. Darcy was crying, silent tears trailing down her cheeks even as her face shone with defiance. He wondered what she saw when she looked at Bucky, who was so clearly fuming but, under all that, hurting fiercely, heartbroken at the accusation. </p><p>It ripped at his heart just being near either of them.</p><p>“We all promised to be honest here.” Steve rubbed his forehead, feeling his full age for the first time in so long. “Bucky, you can’t say she’s <em> wrong </em>, if that’s how she truly felt.” </p><p>“It <em> is </em>,” Darcy added boldly, wiping at her cheeks in hurried motions. </p><p>Steve thought back on it all, on the slow demise of his relationship with Darcy. A memory, crisp and clear and seemingly unimportant five minutes ago sprung into his mind. </p><p>
  <em> ‘Will you shut up about that already? I feel like I have to fucking beg you to date me.’ </em>
</p><p>“You said that before,” he said suddenly. “The--the begging us thing.” </p><p>“Yeah.” Darcy scratched at her elbow distractedly. “Not as seriously as I should’ve, I guess.”</p><p>No, definitely not. It felt like an exaggeration at the time, but he should’ve known better. Darcy didn’t make wild accusations she didn’t feel were true, at least to some degree. Christ. <em> He should’ve known. </em>If Steve had thought for a second she truly felt that way, that it wasn’t something brought on by the heat of the moment, he would’ve never let it slide. </p><p>Beside him, Bucky was struggling with his composure. His chest moved up and down with the force of his breaths, heavy and wild like an unbroken stallion. His eyes were focused on Darcy, so intently that it was like he was trying to read her soul just by looking at her. </p><p>No one said anything for a long moment, and the one to break the silence was the last person Steve had guessed would do so.</p><p>“That’s not how we wanted to make you feel.” It was like there was a noose around Bucky’s neck, and he had to force the words out of him, so choked and strangled by the weight of his emotions. When he talked, the anger lingered, but the words were also grudgingly soft, if not strained. </p><p>A new rush of tears slipped down Darcy’s cheeks. She just nodded to say she believed him, lips pressed hard together in a thin line, chin quivering with repressed sobs. Steve got the feeling that she was avoiding speaking, too close to losing control if she opened her mouth.</p><p>“Can you…” Steve hesitated, bracing himself for her answer. “Can you tell us what exactly...made you feel like that? So we know?” </p><p>It took a moment for her to steady herself again, and god, he wanted to reach out to her so bad, but common sense advised him to stay put. </p><p>Darcy shrugged listlessly. “It--It wasn’t like it was anything intentional you did, I know that. But it was so h-hard,” she covered her face with both hands, shoulders shaking. Unbidden, Steve felt tears come to his own eyes before he could stop them. </p><p>“You two went on that mission. The one that, I dunno… Things got fucked up or something. You remember it?” </p><p>He did. </p><p>“Yes,” Bucky sighed, looking as haunted by the memory as Steve felt. </p><p>“I don’t know what happened, but you two were <em> really </em> different after that. Like, all you talked about was how much danger I’m in, and how you’re no good for me, and all sorts of dumb stuff like that.” Darcy was picking up steam now, wrapping herself back up in the resentment and anger she’d felt at them for so long. “And you…” She shook her head at herself. “You <em> actually </em> talked about how it would be <em> better </em> for me if we broke up. Do you know how that made me feel? How it <em> still </em>makes me feel?” </p><p>“We wanted you safe,” Steve murmured, reeling at the memories assaulting him. The terrible mission they’d gone on, the painful conversations they’d shared afterwards. </p><p>“You broke my heart!” Darcy jabbed at her chest angrily. “All because you thought it was <em> dangerous </em>to be together--”</p><p>Bucky made a sound of frustration, a huffy grunt. “But it <em> is </em>dangerous being with us!” </p><p>“But that’s my choice!” she shouted, incised. “That was <em> my </em>choice to make, and I made it, and you two second guessed me at every turn. After you talked about breaking up, it felt like I was living inside a ticking time bomb, waiting for it to go off and for you two to send me packing.” </p><p>“We wouldn’t have,” Steve began, to little avail.</p><p>“How was I supposed to know what you would and wouldn’t do? I never thought you’d talk about breaking up either, but you did!” She pushed herself to her feet and walked over to the windows, arms wrapped tight around her. “I’ve watched my mother go through cancer, I’ve had a god crash land in front of my car, I’ve witnessed the near-end-of-the-world, and <em> none </em>of those things compare to the stress I felt during those last few months together with you, wondering and waiting to see if you were gonna ditch me after all.”</p><p>Steve stood up to go to her, but the dark haired soldier beat him to it. </p><p>“Darcy.” Bucky wrapped a hand over the curve of her shoulder, drawing her in. “I’m... I’m so sorry, doll.”</p><p>“That’s not how we wanted to make you feel,” Steve added remorsefully. “Ever.” </p><p>“I believe you,” she rubbed her eyes. “But you did.” </p><p>The accusation stung terribly. Unable to stop himself, Bucky pressed her in close to his chest, folding her into the second hug they’d shared in the span of twenty minutes. Steve could tell, just by looking, that her body was rigid and clenched, almost spitefully hard against Bucky like she didn’t want to cave, but the soldier didn’t relent. With smooth hands and gentle touches, he touched her hair and spine, rocking them side to side like the ticking hand of a metronome. Gradually, at glacial speed, she melted. Steve couldn’t blame her; he knew firsthand how hard it was to remain angry with Bucky Barnes when he touched you like that.</p><p>“It felt like you were ganging up on me,” Darcy admitted, voice muffled by Bucky’s shirt. She didn’t lift her head away, like she had been sapped of all her energy. “Like you secretly wanted me gone. And I <em> already </em>feel like an outsider around you two, and that just made everything so much worse, like I was holding onto something I didn’t have a right to--”</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait.” Bucky held her by the shoulders and pushed her back so he could look her in the eye. Steve had walked over too, as stunned as Bucky was, judging by his reaction. “What are you talking about?” </p><p>Darcy wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Huh?” </p><p>“The outsider part,” Steve said, coming to stand at Bucky’s side, the pair of them peering at her with bubbling horror and dread. “What did you mean by that?” </p><p>“Oh.” She blushed, looking embarrassed. “I, uh, I didn’t… We don’t have to talk about that. That’s just my own dumb insecurities--”</p><p>“<em> Yes </em> , we have to talk about it,” Bucky said sharply, and he cupped her jaw in one massive hand, drawing her eyes back to his. “Darcy, do you think… <em> What </em> do you mean by all that, hmm?” </p><p>“It’s…” Darcy swallowed. “It’s dumb, like I said. And I don’t want you to think I-I resent the way you feel about each other or anything, <em> ever. </em> But your love, it’s like... <em> powerful </em>. You kinda both came back from the dead for each other. And you have way more in common, and this crazy history, and I know I can’t compete with any of that. I’m working on accepting it, but it just made it harder when you both started saying you don’t want me around--”</p><p>Bucky made a beeping sound like a game show buzzer signalling the incorrect answer. “Nope. No. Not what happened.” He turned her face back to his when she started to look away. “<em> Definitely </em> never said we don’t want you. I think we might’ve said we don’t want you to get <em> hurt. </em> Or that we don’t want you <em> in danger. </em> But I would fucking recall if we said that we don’t <em> want you </em>, because that’d be one massive bullshit lie to tell our girl.” </p><p>“Fine.” Darcy glared up at him, heartache shining in her eyes. “Maybe so, but that’s what it <em> felt </em> like, Bucky.”</p><p>Steve’s mouth was dry. Parched like he’d been walking through the desert. His eyes stung, mouth hanging open as he turned her words over and about in his mind, reeling at the implication.</p><p>“How long have you felt this way?” he asked in a thin voice. “About the-the competing thing.”</p><p>Darcy winced, and he had his answer. </p><p>“This whole time?!” Steve drew them back to the couches and all but dragged Darcy into the loveseat, coming to kneel at her feet. Bucky sat beside her, an arm wrapped firm around her shoulders. “Darcy. I promised honesty when we started talking, and you gotta believe me now. Never, <em> not for a second </em> , were you <em> anything </em> less than equal in all this. You are to me. And you are to Buck.” Said man nodded urgently. “And I am so, <em> so </em>sorry if we made you think for a second you needed to compete for our attention or love or any of it. If we ever made you feel less than a third in our relationship.” </p><p>“If we’d known in the slightest that you felt like that,” Bucky murmured in her ear, rubbing her shoulder with his hand. “We’d’a set you straight right away.” </p><p>“You just always seemed so confident and assured,” Steve added, thinking back, racking his brain to try to understand how they could’ve missed it. “It never occurred to me for a second you might… Darcy… God, <em> why </em>didn’t you say something?” </p><p>Her face was the pinnacle of vulnerability when she looked up at him, bottom lip trembling. </p><p>“Because I was scared.” </p><p>“Scared?” Steve touched his fingertips to her hair, tracing the silky smooth curls. </p><p>“Of…”</p><p>“Of what, Darcy?” Bucky pressed in impossibly close. </p><p>“Of what you’d say.” </p><p>They both reared back. “You think we’d, what, tell you that your fears were <em> true?” </em></p><p>“I know it’s not logical, but I didn’t know how you’d react and… and…” She sucked in a deep breath. “Ididdinnoifanithingyusaidwoodficksit.”</p><p>Steve blinked. “Wanna try that again?” </p><p>Darcy coughed, clearing her throat. “Jeez… I said, I didn’t know...if anything you said would...fix it…” She trailed off, looking up at them long enough to see the look they exchanged, an unspoken conversation flowing between two men who knew each other like the back of their hand. </p><p>“So you didn’t let us even try?” Bucky asked, softer than he’d been all day with her. “You would rather just hurt instead?” </p><p>“That’s not fair to anyone,” Steve said, his thumb stroking the knuckles of her hand with care. “Not to me, or Buck, and definitely not to you.” </p><p>“I guess,” she mumbled. </p><p>“Look at me, doll.” Bucky guided her chin up with a gentle touch, the tips of his fingers turning her face to his. “Time’s a fickle son of a gun. <em> Yeah </em>, I’ve known Stevie my whole life, and I love him a whole heckuva lot. That’s true. But,” he said carefully, spotting the way her face crumpled in dread. “It doesn’t mean I didn’t fall just as hard for you, darling. Not at all. This isn’t some game of catch-up you gotta play. I’m telling you now: you’re there. Where Steve is in my heart, you’re right there with him, okay?”</p><p>“Oh,” she said in a small voice, tears spilling over. The relief on her face gutted Steve, and it gave him the encouragement to whisper her name and draw her gaze back to him. </p><p>“Bucky’s right. Love isn’t a competition, Darcy. It’s just love.” Steve gave her hands a nervous squeeze. “D’you wanna… It doesn’t fix things, really, but I’d like to tell you…” </p><p>Darcy watched him with concern. “Tell me what?” </p><p>“That mission. The one that changed things.” Bucky sucked in a sharp breath of surprise. “It doesn’t justify anything, but… I think it’ll help you understand.” </p><p>“I thought that was classified?” </p><p>Steve rocked back on his heels. “Let me demonstrate my priorities for you.” He raised a hand high as it would go, palm flat in a horizontal line. “It goes you and Buck”--he dropped his hand a few inches--“my friends and team”--he dropped his hand again, several inches this time--“and everything else.” </p><p>Bucky leaned in to her to mutter, “Fighting bullies should be in there too, <em> probably </em> right under me and you.” </p><p>Darcy couldn’t help grinning a little. The sight eased a tight coil in Steve’s chest enough that he could breathe a bit easier again. </p><p>“The mission went wrong, obviously,” Steve began tiredly, holding on to the knowledge that Darcy was sitting right there in front of him, safe and sound, as he recollected the horrors of his mission. “It was a big one. They had a whole crew sent in to try and fix it before they called us onto the scene. Can’t tell you much of the details but…” </p><p>“An agent made some nasty enemies of Hydra,” Bucky stepped in all gentle-like. His words were for Darcy, but his eyes were on Steve, the pair of them recounting the horror of it all. “Didn’t know until we got there that it was a hostage situation. Hydra had taken the agent’s soulmate hostage, for ransom we thought, and we were gonna get him the money to make the trade…” </p><p>“But he wasn’t after money,” Steve said dully. “Wasn’t after anything but making that poor woman suffer. None of us could do anything but watch as he tied up the agent’s soulmate and…” </p><p>“Killed her.” Bucky’s eyes were cold. </p><p>“Just like that,” Steve whispered. “Darcy, I’ve lost my share of soldiers. I’ve seen innocents die, too. Seen ‘em die in front of loved ones… I’ve never heard a man make the noises he made.” </p><p>Darcy stared at him silently, eyes wide and watering, and Steve pushed onwards.</p><p>“It was bad enough, just that on its own, but…” he grimaced. “She <em> looked </em>like you. Kinda. Not a lot, but enough, and it was already easy enough putting myself in the other man’s shoes. Seeing him holding the woman he loved, someone who looked just a bit too much like you… He started screaming about how it was his fault, saying all sorts of things like he had put her in danger and he didn’t deserve her in the first place.” </p><p>“We went to the funeral, and he’d calmed down some,” Bucky recalled. “But he never changed his tune, that he’d done this to her. That she never asked to be saddled with a soulmate who would put her life in danger.” </p><p>“It rattled us both,” Steve said. “<em> Obviously </em>.” </p><p>“So I gathered,” she observed dryly. “Well, I certainly get that that’d be <em> so </em> awful to witness and all, really I do… I’m just… Surprised, I guess? That’s all it took for you to feel like being together was a bad idea.” </p><p>“Not that it was a bad idea,” Steve said quickly. “Just a dangerous one.” </p><p>“And,” Bucky drawled, “It’s not like it was a thought neither us had before, either. The thought of something happening to you because of us… That can’t happen, Darcy.” His eyes were tinged with a bit of panic. “It can’t. Ever. I couldn’t survive it. But I knew I could survive breaking up...if it meant keeping you safe. I could survive anything if it meant keeping you safe.” </p><p>Darcy was back to being annoyed. “Why couldn’t you just <em> talk </em>to me about it though? Like a normal human being?” </p><p>“That’s…” Steve blushed. “That’s a fair question, actually.” </p><p>She put a lot of thought into her words before speaking them. “Okay, well, that sounds like a really fucking traumatic thing to witness, and… I mean, I don’t know what it’s like, so I can’t say how I’d react, but I can get why you’d be extra jumpy about my safety after something like that. Would it help…” </p><p>Steve and Bucky both gestured for her to continue, nodding eagerly. </p><p>“Would it help if I took some precautions? Nothing crazy,” she added firmly, “but enough to maybe ease your mind?” </p><p>They both took in her suggestion, mulling it over. Bucky looked increasingly pleased by whatever his mind was concocting. Steve was almost worried for Darcy, imagining what extreme measures their boyfriend would do to keep his loved ones safe. And he would’ve been truly worried, if he wasn’t creating his own list of ideas.</p><p>“Like what?” Bucky asked cautiously. </p><p>She shrugged. “You’re the safety experts. You tell me.” </p><p>The conversation took off like a cannon. It was like she’d told them they had thirty seconds to brainstorm, and they began firing off ideas at one another, almost too quick for her to follow. </p><p>“Thor has those weird Asgardian hounds that breathe fire.”</p><p>“I was thinking more like a suite of guards to trail her.” </p><p>“We could get Natasha to train her.” </p><p>“Tony would probably make her a suit--”</p><p>Darcy’s voice cut them off, loud and appalled. <em> “Wow, </em> no, okay. Guess I’ll decide what’s reasonable, since you two are lunatics.” She shook her head in disbelief, laughing. “I could <em> maybe </em>be persuaded to keep a tracker on me or something. If you’re good.” </p><p>Another exchanged glance. Bucky raised a shoulder and shrugged it, like he thought it wasn’t a bad idea. Steve agreed. The thought had merit. </p><p>“Tony could design it,” Steve said thoughtfully. “I’m sure he has ideas.”</p><p>His dark haired lover scoffed. “I’m sure he implanted Potts and Rhodes with trackers years ago.”</p><p>“I’m not being implanted with anything!” Darcy said quickly. “Just so we’re clear. I’ll wear a fancy hair barrette or something. I’m not going full Jason Bourne here.” </p><p>“Uh huh.” Steve smiled at her warmly. Her reaction made his heart melt, all soft blushes and sweet grins. “Well, <em> just so we’re clear, </em>you’re talkin’ like you’d maybe still let us do those things, so...”</p><p>Darcy didn’t take her eyes off him, didn’t say a word as he trailed away.</p><p>“So, doll?” Bucky nudged her. “Does this mean you’re our girl again?” </p><p>“I don’t think I ever really stopped, to tell the truth.” </p><p>That was all the invitation Steve needed to cup the back of her neck and surge forward on steady feet. And he was <em> kissing </em>her. He was kissing her, hot and tender and slick on the tongue, and he never wanted it to stop. Not even when their noses smushed, and breathing became a bit difficult, and his lungs were gonna burst any second now--</p><p>“Quit hogging her, Stevie. That’s twice now you beat me to it.” </p><p>Steve pulled away with a wet pop and a laugh. “Not my fault you’re getting slow, old man.”</p><p>“Old man, he says.” Bucky jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Steve, directing his words to Darcy. “You hear this? Why, I oughtta--” But Bucky didn’t get to <em> oughtta </em>anything, as Darcy wound her fingers through his hair and dragged him bodily into her space, seizing him by the mouth and devouring him, crushing into him like Steve had just done her. </p><p>“Fuck,” Bucky said softly when they parted. He chased her mouth once, twice, three times. “God, Darcy. I dunno how I lived without that. Sweetest lips I’ve kissed, right Stevie?” </p><p>“Sweetest indeed.” Steve held Bucky’s hand with one of his, and Darcy’s with his other, and for the first time in forever, the world felt right. It felt good. Darcy took Bucky’s hand in hers much the same way, holding tight to him. </p><p>“So…” she hedged, eyeing them both. “What now?”  </p><p>“Well,” Bucky gave both hands a squeeze. “Now, me’n’Stevie are gonna work on communicating our fears with you in a healthy way, one that don’t make you feel constricted. And <em> you’re </em> gonna talk to us when you feel left out. And <em> no one </em> is gonna talk about breaking up ever again. <em> Ever </em>.” </p><p>She wrinkled her nose, and Steve valiantly fought the urge to tweak it. “You make it sound so simple.” </p><p>“It’s not simple. But it’s what we’re gonna do to make this work.” </p><p>“Because this is what matters most,” Steve said in quiet agreement. Darcy’s eyes caught on his, big and bright and lovely. “And I don’t ever wanna wonder what it’s like to go without <em> this,” </em>he gestured to the three of them holding hands, “ever again.” </p><p>“Me neither,” Darcy breathed. She started nodding urgently. “Me too. I--fuck, I missed you two so much. More than you know.” </p><p>Bucky made a noise of disbelief. “Doubt it.” </p><p>“It’s true!” she shook her head, getting worked up. “It’s--”</p><p>“We believe you, doll.” Steve pulled her to her feet. “Let’s agree that we all missed each other and felt very bad.”</p><p>“Mhmm, but <em> I </em>missed you most,” said Bucky, waggling his eyebrows at her, and she laughed, whacking him on the chest with a toss of her hand. </p><p>“Well…” she bit her lip shyly. “I...should probably get going.”</p><p>
  <em> “Huh?”  </em>
</p><p>“Yeah, I mean,” Darcy tossed a thumb over her shoulder with a frown. “I have to check into my room and probably call Jane and let her know I’m in town.” </p><p><em> “Check into your room?” </em>they echoed in unison. </p><p>“No,” Bucky said firmly, shaking his head. His long hair swished back and forth with the motion. “No fucking way. Hotel rooms?” </p><p>“Darcy,” Steve began, opting for a more diplomatic approach. “You <em> have </em> a place to stay. With us.” </p><p>“What?” she laughed. “I can’t do that.” </p><p>“Why not?” Bucky asked, the epitome of reasonable and mild-tempered. </p><p>Darcy’s mouth popped open in surprise. “Why n…? Because we broke up! We <em> just </em>got back together! You don’t think it’s a bit soon?” </p><p>The two men looked at one another and shrugged. “Actually, I don’t remember <em> agreeing </em> to break up,” Bucky said idly, scratching at his chest. “So technically…” </p><p>Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t get cute with me, Buckaroo.”</p><p>“Hey! I can’t help it if I was born this way.” His response had both Darcy and Steve grinning, though she tried to fight hers off rather valiantly. </p><p>“Well?” Steve rested a palm on her shoulder, turned her toward him just a little. “<em> Will </em> you come home with us, doll?” </p><p>The hesitation nearly gutted him, and he stood there holding his hand to her cheek for what felt like a whole day before anyone moved.</p><p>And then Darcy nodded. </p><p>Steve wiped the tears off her face with the pad of his thumb. Bucky held her hand as they walked down to the garage, where their car was waiting for them, ready to make the drive back to Brooklyn, back home.</p><p>They walked ahead of Steve, and he took the opportunity to slip his phone out and send a short text. </p><p>--</p><p>Text Message to: Sam </p><p>Message: <em> Thank you. </em></p><p>Text Message from: Sam </p><p>Message: <em> Happy for you, man. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked it! I tried to find a balance that didn't really portray anyone as unreasonable or the "bad guy" here. Just a couple of folks trying their best, that's my jam.</p><p>Can I just say it is SO HARD writing angst with poly relationships because in my opinion, from reading other poly fanfics, it's so easy make poly fics angsty, but resolving that sort of angst is HARD. One conversation doesn't usually cut it, in my mind. Like the obvious angsty plotline for WinterShieldShock is to make Darcy insecure over Bucky and Steve's relationship, and I live for that shit like you wouldn't believe, but it is SO HARD to resolve that in a way that feels good??? I feel like I've read nine million Marvel poly fics in the past month where person A and B are comfortable but person C feels left out, and there's wayyyy too much hurt and not enough comfort, ya feel me? </p><p>ALL THAT TO SAY: Thank you for reading. I hope the resolution in this fic worked for you!! Just know that they all really love each other. Also I hate writing scenery, can you tell? ;) </p><p>Thanks again for reading, and for everyone who commented last chapter. It meant the world to me, truly. This one's for you!!!</p><p>Stay safe, all.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Have y'all read some of the incredibly talented Wintershieldshock fics out there??? I am literally in awe, you guys. IN. AWE. Fangirl with me in the comments over your favourites. If it exists, chances are I've read it in the past thirty days.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>